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Blog Post

THE ART OF LETTING GO

Updated: Apr 19, 2023



So much has been written about the art of letting go. It is an ability that is vital to a healthy spiritual life, an indispensable skill for good mental health and an easier, more relaxed inner and outer life.

The seminal work in this regard is Melody Beattie’s book of daily meditations, “The Language of Letting Go” which millions have used to help them understand the subtle energies of releasing, freeing, and loosening their grip on… well, everything: people, places, things, ideas, habits, beliefs, addictions, etc.


Beattie, who wrote the pioneering book, Codependent No More, How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself gave us a working language and the attributes necessary in order to stop trying to direct people and events in ways that damage or even destroy relationships, situations, opportunities, and especially our peace of mind.

We stop trying to control and begin the process of letting go. We Let go and let God.


Letting go is really a skill made up of a subset of spiritual tools: acceptance, patience, trust & faith to name a few.


If I can accept things/people/circumstances as they are, I can let go (mentally, emotionally, physically) because nothing needs to be changed in this moment.


Maybe something does need to be changed, but that requires patience to wait for the right moment. The Tao Te Ching asks in poem 15:


Do you have the patience to wait Till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving Till the right action arises by itself?



Patience and acceptance in turn require at least some faith and trust that God, the Universe, the Great Spirit, the Higher Self knows better than I do what is the highest and best outcome for me and for all concerned.


Once I was in a 12-step meeting. I had been struggling with the concept of Step 3, which states, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”


I was really having a hard time with the idea of letting go of my will (everything I think and feel) and my life (everything I do) and handing it over to an entity I didn’t entirely trust.


I shared: “I can’t grasp the idea of letting go!” A wise member of the group blurted out, “That’s your problem. You’re grasping and not letting go!”


See what I mean by subtle? In my very words, I had my answer. I was trying (too hard) to let go, by clutching, which makes no sense. It is a great example of how the “cunning, baffling, powerful” disease of codependency operates.


Letting go often also mean forgiving. The stickiness (and stuckness) of unforgiveness is a special kind of hell that keeps us gripping (and often griping to anyone who will listen) about “what he did” “what she said” “what they didn’t do."


That old adage about resentment being like drinking poison hoping someone else dies, is true. Unforgiveness is a poison. Letting go by forgiving them their trespasses, frees us!! And it mentally and emotionally lets “them” off the hook.


In “Let Go – Let God Handle It!” by Mary Kupferle, she writes:


If you have ever thought that the only way you can receive help is the way you have always done so, remember to be open to new ways of discovering the good you seek. As a child of God, you are always in a state of unfolding consciousness; therefore, you can be confident that it is all right to change your direction and move forward when you are following guidance from Spirit within.


Begin now to let go and let God handle it all. In doing so, you are making room within your heart for the presence and power of the Creator to come into expression in your life. God knows all you have experienced from the very beginning and longs to help you receive the very best within your mind, body temple, and life.

Trust this wonderful presence of love now.


The art, the language of letting go is a subtle, powerful, beautiful way to live, to handle life situations, assured of an outcome that will be for the good of all concerned.


Bonne dimanche (Good Sunday)


John

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