Shadow Work for Dummies VIII
A problem is an invitation to self-transcendence.
-- Sean O’laoire
I hate to admit it, but I’ve had it all wrong. Or perhaps more accurately, I had an important aspect of this whole shadow work-thing wrong.
My whole focus has been on…. well, on me.
Getting me out of the valley of the shadow. Getting me out of pain, confusion, shame, and fear. Getting myself a peaceful night’s rest rather than troubled sleep. Finding, contriving, or forcing solutions to the problem(s) – so I feel better.
Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi, as the narcissistic soprano often sings.
And I don’t think I’m alone. I think many of us (most of us? Nearly everyone??) focusses on our pain, our lives, our problems, etc.
How do I solve this financial dilemma?
How do I deal with this family member?
How do I fight to overcome this health issue?
How do I…. ____________ ???
It’s “normally” how people think when faced with problems.
And when many problems pile up, or when a matter is serious enough to become a crisis of faith, a dark night of the soul – then the person (aka me) is even more determined to escape, hoping that “this too shall pass” and that things will “go back to normal.”
So much of my focus in writing “Shadow Work for Dummies” has been to explore and to share what I have been discovering for myself. I have been researching, learning, and absorbing some of the wisdom from people who have lived through their own shadow and who have come to some conclusions, given us some guideposts to follow as I grope along in the dark, looking for daylight.
And then….
In my Friday Spirit Group, I heard someone mention the quote above by Sean O’laoire.
A problem is an invitation to self-transcendence.
Wow!
A problem isn’t something to be solved, it is something to be used. It’s a vehicle that I can ride to my Higher Self.
Under the old, “normal” way of viewing problems, a problem is an obstacle. It causes pain or confusion. It needs to go. It needs to be figured out, solved, and left behind.
Oh yeah, maybe I’ll know better next time. Maybe I’ll gain some wisdom and experience. Bonus!
But this model is a dead end. Or a never-ending loop. Solve one problem and another appears. An endless series of predicaments to be confronted and fixed.
Seen from a higher viewpoint, solving your problems is not the answer. Instead, finding the higher meaning in problems seems to be the solution. The purpose of problems is to help you grow.
In the documentary, “From Stress to Happiness” Matthieu Ricard, French writer and Buddhist monk says,
Feeling compassion is not enough.
I will generate the determination, by crossing the door
of the spiritual path – practicing it with the ultimate end –
I will do so in order to gain the capacity
to free all beings from suffering.
He then recites part of the Buddhist meta prayer:
May all beings find happiness and the causes of happiness.
May all beings be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.
So my problems are designed to help me transcend self. They call me to move my gaze away from my own petty concerns.
When I look up and see my problems from a higher vantage point, I can begin to consider, that maybe the answer is to stop thinking so much about myself (mi-mi-mi-mi-mi) and focus on others.
And here’s the kicker:
I want to solve my problems so I can be happy. End my suffering so I can be out of pain and find some measure of happiness.
And it has never worked.
The conveyer-belt of life has just generated more problems to be solved, endured, figured out and battled.
Paradoxically, the approach to life’s problems in the way Sean O’laoire and Matthieu Ricard see it, is the way of happiness!
Ricard has been deemed by several sources, including a study at the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin-Madison as the happiest person on the planet.
In his TED Talk from 2004, Ricard, points out that things bring temporary happiness but more is not better (one piece of chocolate cake, delicious. The second, okay. The third piece, disgust).
He then defines for us what real happiness is:
Now, what, then, will be happiness? And happiness, of course, is such a vague word, so let's say well-being. And so, I think the best definition, according to the Buddhist view, is that well-being is not just a mere pleasurable sensation. It is a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment. A state that actually pervades and underlies all emotional states, and all the joys and sorrows that can come one's way.
For you, that might be surprising. Can we have this kind of well-being while being sad? In a way, why not? Because we are speaking of a different level.
On that level, happiness transcends momentary, selfish pleasures, needs, or wants. That happiness moves us away from selfishness and toward altruism and service.
The shadow work we all have faced, and will face again, is not here to hurt us or cause us suffering. It’s here to help us wake up to a higher level of consciousness, a higher calling of purpose.
Of Joy. Of Love.
To help all beings be free of suffering.
To help all beings find happiness.
Happy Sunday (very happy)
Bon dimanche,
John
I am available to do Prosperity Now! individual or group sessions or general life-coaching, I Ching readings, dream interpretation or join us for our weekly Wednesday Course in Miracles group.
Please contact me at prosperitynowlifeofdreams@yahoo.com or sign up on my website: http://www.johnafrederick.com
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